Earthside: Badrick's Story

 

Oh my goodness, y'all! No matter how much I try to bottle up time, slow it down or even pause it for a little bit, it never works! A year ago I was in that space of in-between, waiting for the day our little one was going to grace us Earthside. We were Team Green and the anticipation of meeting this little babe was growing by the day! If you saw my blog post from January 19, 2023 (HERE) you can read a post I made on January 19, 2022 when I was 38.1 and hoping for a full two weeks left. 

A whole year has gone by since that incredible, redeeming birth and I'm so excited to FINALLY share it with you all, here on my blog! 

If you'd like to read my other birth stories: 

Bentley a first-time mom induction resulting in a c-section

Bailey a redeeming, empowered hospital VBAC 

Barrett a peaceful, unhindered HBAC

For those who love a good birth video, here is Badrick's birth video made by Kristen Gruell Photography! You can find Kristen on Facebook, and at her website. I swoon over birth films and birth vlogs! In my past births, I made my own videos from the photographs that were taken during pregnancy and birth. This time, I wanted something different, something that would allow me to relive the glorious hours of bringing my baby Earthside! Kristen delivered! Enjoy! 

What I loved most about Badrick's pregnancy and birth was the DEEP spiritual growth that ensued. Leaning into my faith and into prayer throughout my pregnancy kept me strong and kept the enemy's lies and fear tactics at bay. I sought out deep education throughout my pregnancy for both his birth and our postpartum time. 

Here's the holistic childbirth education I absolutely adore! Embrace Birth Journey took my education to the next level. I love EBJ so much that I have partnered up with Brooke to bring you this course! You can dive in deeper HERE! 

Badrick's pregnancy was especially fun because my best friend, Grace, was expecting her second baby boy and we were only due a week apart! Our boys ended up being 13 days apart in age! 

Anyways! Here's our little guy's birth story! Enjoy! 

Well, here we are! Time to tell our birth story! While I was not ready to birth this baby as I really wanted to make it to 40 weeks and have a baby on 2/2/22; God, our baby and my body knew the most perfect birth day for our precious baby! 

 

Around 11:30am on Tuesday January 25, 2022 I decided to take a bath. I wanted to soak in a warm bath as much as possible in the last week of pregnancy to help keep me centered and to soak in those quiet moments with baby. The kids and I got through all their school work and I allowed them free time on their iPads to play games and zoom with their friends. I lit a candle in the kids’ bathroom, filled the EO diffuser and poured some Epsom Salts in the bath and I got all relaxed and settled in. I listened to my worship music and did some work on my phone. Around noon I felt a Braxton Hicks contraction but this time it was accompanied by a period-like cramping. I tried to think nothing of it and continued on. Baby was moving, I took pictures of my belly and just soaked up all this quiet time. About 20 minutes later, I felt yet another Braxton Hicks contraction with period-like cramping… and again in another 20 minutes. I said a little prayer that it wasn’t time. I just wasn’t spiritually ready to have this baby. I wanted just one more week of pregnancy and one more week to enjoy our routine as a family of 6. 

 

I checked the time and it was slightly after 1pm. An hour went by and I had felt nothing more… I had prayed it was just another twinge of my body preparing for D-Day but prayed that D-Day would be another week away. I briefly texted our photographer to give her a 39 week update and moved on with my day. 

 

Around 2pm, I decided it was time to get out of the bath as I had a Mother Blessing Zoom with the Sister Birth ladies of Embrace Birth Journey. I had been looking forward to this call as these ladies and the Embrace Birth Journey course has become such a pivotal experience for me being led by God Himself. Leaning into these ladies and feeling fully free to be open, honest, raw and vulnerable without fear of judgement has become such a safe place for me. I knew I had some emotions that needed releasing… and again, I was slightly afraid that by releasing those emotions on the call and receiving feedback from the ladies that is from God, that it would actually send me into labor… so I felt slightly reserved. 

 

While on the call, I had a few strong Braxton Hicks contractions but I did not time them. The ladies on the call, as expected, had incredible feedback for my fears, my sadness over being at the end of pregnancy and I just felt so free after the call. 

 

<Mother Blessing Notes>

Here are some notes on the responses and prayers from today! I hope the rest of this day is restful and sweet for you, dear one.

 

........

 

 

Is your faith big enough to encompass your “mistake” in “mishearing” or “misunderstanding” God’s messages to you? - may the fear of the possibility of “missing” it shrink down to size and lose its foothold, that it would not be a stumbling block or hindrance. 

 

Prayers for grace for your transition in practical areas (change to routines, etc.) as well as inner transformation.

 

Blessing over the woman you are now and the way that impacts your experience of this particular pregnancy and birth. The birth you are given will be what the Current You needs.

 

May the Father give you new rhythms of grace and rituals of intentionality in how you move through the world. 

 

Angel - everything God was trying to tell you through this birth you WILL see. The Lord is birthing something so magnificent with these children being born today.

 

“I will be with you and protect you wherever you go.” You will be in a safe environment. He will manifest in ways you couldn’t dream possible.

 

Jessica - You have a servant’s heart in how you imagine your birth helping to lead people to Jesus and want that so deeply. Such a testament to the woman and mother that you are. 

 

There are big things in the works for this birth and it makes sense you’re not quite ready yet. We want things to be just right, and I have a feeling that they will be. Baby will come at just the right time and it will be really special for a lot of reasons.

 

Marissa prays- “Holy Spirit, fill her mind with the thoughts you’d want her to have. You’re a good God and you have a brilliant plan for her and her baby and family. I feel you want to share with her that this WILL be transformative for her husband. Give her confidence and the ability to surrender the control to you. … Brandy knows how to come to you and pour it out to you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

 

I wouldn’t have guessed listening to you that you feel unprepared in any way. Maybe there’s something in there trying to tell you to let go of something in the past….that you want to step over into this next birth… it’s going to be very healing when you do that.

 

Brooke - You ARE ready, ultimately. 

 

Angel - find joy in the waiting. Trust that all the things you have done will have a ripple effect, you’ll see them play out to your benefit. 

 

Loretta - Detachment.

 

You came into this community like a “blazing fire” - really special. 

 

Whatever the birth path is for you, it will go beautifully.

 

After the Mother Blessing call, I went about our day. The kids had been on their iPads since 8am and it was time to switch gears. Some attitudes resulted and I became a little bit stressed out and in disbelief with their attitudes that I released some frustration on the kids. After reconnecting with them, apologies and hugs, we moved on and got the house picked up, got something on the table for dinner and began getting around for gymnastics. The waves continued to come but I never timed anything. I went through the rest of the day but I did have to stop and focus a bit through some of them. Some brought on some lower back pain. Some were 100% painless tightening, some had lower uterine cramping… some even radiated from the lower uterine area to my lower back. 

 

Around 6:30pm, we left for gymnastics. By the time we arrived just before 7pm, something told me to time the waves as they were coming more regularly… They were coming but not consistent. Some 7 minutes… 12 minutes… 8 minutes… Each with different intensities but at this point, I had a hunch this was it. This was precisely how Bailey and Barrett’s early labor played out. I began to notify our birth team by sending them screenshots and asking them to be on close standby. I listened to worship music, cried my eyes out and prayed to God that if this was truly the time, to allow me to surrender to His will and His way for this birth and this baby. I prayed that God would give me acceptance that this pregnancy was over and it was now time to move through the transformation to bring this baby into our arms. 

 

Around 8:30pm, the kids and I arrived home. The kids all took off to their bedrooms to get ready for bed. I tucked everyone in, gave them kisses and proceeded to talk to Norman as usual. I still had not told him what I had been feeling as I still had some hopes that a shower and a good nights rest would slow this down and I would remain pregnant for another week. 

 

Around 9pm, I told Norman I was ready for my shower and to get some sleep, so I got off the phone willing that I would talk to him in the morning, as usual. Something in me, though, told me it was time to get everything setup. I immediately went through and filled all the EO diffusers, got the bed all squared around with the sheets and shower curtain and began to blow up the birth tub. I got into the shower and sat on the floor. Crying, praying and asking for acceptance and surrender. I had a couple waves while in the shower but nothing super intense. I did check the effacement of my cervix and it was half as thick as the night before… but in an attempt to not irritate my cervix, I did not check for dilation. 

After conversing with Lindy, around 9:20pm, she decided to just head down to the house regardless of what happens. 

 

Around 10pm, the waves were still not stopping. There was a lot of rectal pressure, passing gas and cervical pressure like someone was stretching me. I felt more damp but there was no bloody show or mucus plug. I began making sure my home atmosphere was all set. I made sure all the diffusers were nice and full, I filled a mug with Labroaide, I made some Ripe & Ready Tea… Barrett came downstairs as I feel he sensed something different. I tucked him back into bed and went back to my room. I began having some loose stools and more rectal pressure. A wave of sadness came over me that this was likely the real deal as this is how Bailey and Barrett’s early labor proceeded… I was not spiritually ready to have this baby and to be done with this pregnancy. This would be the last time I feel this baby move within me… I decided to lay down and try to sleep between waves… one last ditch effort to try and have this slow down or stall out to remain pregnant. I finally let Norman in on what was happening… Since early labor played out precisely the same way, there was a big chance this would not fizzle out. Since Lindy was already on her way, I knew he’d question what was up when the cameras alerted him to someone at the house… We texted back and forth for awhile as he was still at work. 

 

Around 11:50pm, I woke up. I had been trying to sleep between waves but they kept waking me up. There’s pressure with every single wave at this point, so things were progressing. Baby is super squirmy and I keep moving with each wave in search of some relief. Allowing my body to instinctually tell me where I need to be… Received a text from Lindy that she was off the highway and almost there. 

 

Once Lindy arrived just after midnight, I helped her get her room all setup. I had planned to setup the spare bedroom, the birth tub and our bed Wednesday evening after our house cleaner cleaned the house and Norman left for work… But, baby had other plans! Lindy and I chatted until around 1:15am while I ate and drank some Laboraide. The waves kept coming and I couldn’t seem to stop swaying my hips while leaning against the counter. For some, I felt a strong urge to squat during the wave… Again, working instinctually with what my body is asking through each wave. Don’t question it, just move through it working with my body. Each wave was bringing more pressure and cramping. More loose stools… I still wasn’t timing waves as I found it just annoyed me. But they never quit coming, no matter what I tried. My hips are super achy and everything feels like it’s stretching. Now that Lindy is here and settled in, we’re going to try and sleep. 

 

Sleep is pretty much a feat that won’t be overcome… Baby is SO squirmy. Baby had hiccups that I felt lower than I’ve ever felt before. Lower on my left hip and directly on my cervix. Suddenly, it felt like baby “slipped” and I distinctly felt baby descend further into my pelvis and with that, a very strong wave came on. Every time I doze, I’m woken back up by another wave. There is a lot of grinding and stabbing pains… My entire nether regions are so tender, especially my rectal area. Again, lots of stretching sensations. 

 

It's now 3:20am and I’m still getting randomly woken up by the waves. There’s still stabbing pain in my cervical area, still lots of rectal pressure… Some of these waves are requiring vocalizing and focused breathing through them. Part of me wants to get in the bath and part of me wants to sleep. I’m cold… I’m craving the warmth of a bathtub but I’m also craving rest… I’m frustrated. But I vowed to not fight my body… I must surrender and accept this. God, my body and this baby know the perfect date and time for this baby to be born. Listening to my body and getting into the bath. I decided to check my cervix and I’m a bit thinner than I was a few hours earlier… Maybe 1-2cm dilated. Baby seems lower but not super low. 

 

I worshipped. I prayed. I have to surrender or else this whole experience will just be more intense and harder. Norman called me shortly after 4am and we chatted between each wave. I began timing them again and they were 6 minutes apart… Each brought enough pressure and pain that I had to breathe through them. Right around 4:45am, I peed in the bathtub… I know, gross… but I was too lazy to get out of the tub at this point. I peed, baby squirmed and I felt a very familiar POP and gush. Though, I don’t feel anywhere near transition… so I would assume I’m only 3-4cm dilated at this point and the pop/gush was much smaller than the last two births. I told Norman my water broke… so we were having a baby! I got out of the tub to see if I would trickle or gush more. There was possibly a little bit of meconium… though it was really hard to tell as it could just be more bloody show and mucus plug than anything else. At this point, I began calling the entire birth team to head this way. 

 

Lindy came upstairs after I called her up. I began to panic a bit. Not knowing how baby was handling things if it was meconium, so I checked baby’s heart rate and it was fine; in the 130’s like usual. But I was shaking and panicking. I decided to massage Labor Massage Oil on my belly, pop in my air pods to listen to Christian Hypnobirthing to bring myself back to my center. Lindy and I began to try and figure out the hose attachment for the birth tub while we waited on the birth team to begin to arrive. My water definitely broke… but it’s not trickling or gushing out. I do feel like I’m dilating and stretching more as I’m losing more mucus plug and bloody show. At this point, I almost couldn’t leave the toilet… My body was cleaning out. I continued to pray to find my headspace as everything begins to intensify. 

 

The emotions keep rolling. As one-by-one the birth team begins to arrive… My sister-in-law, Lorraine, arrived and she began helping Lindy work on the hose attachment while I labored between my bed and the toilet. The midwives arrived just before 6am. They checked my vitals and my BP was elevated a bit… Baby’s heart rate was in the 130’s. I told them I was panicking and then I began to cry. I popped my air pods back in while I sat on the birth ball at my bedside and I just cried while swaying on the birth ball. I’m still not ready… still working on surrendering and just allowing the emotions to boil over and release. At this point, the waves were getting more intense. I labored however I felt led to labor. Sitting on the birth ball at my bedside with my head in the bed. Labored on the toilet while allowing my body to clean out. Labored walking around the bedroom. Norman arrived home around 6:30am and I just remember needing to connect with him. I stood at the foot of the bed with a contraction, walked over to him to hug him, cry into him and work through another wave as he rubbed my back and held me. 

 

Eventually, the midwives suggested The Miles Circuit to allow my body some rest and to help position baby better. After palpating baby’s position, it was really hard to decipher without a doubt baby’s position. With The Miles Circuit, it allowed me to doze in and out between waves. Some waves were so strong they’d wake me up and I would need to move and vocalize through them. With others, I would vocalize and tap my fingers, one at a time, against something solid. I kept switching between Affirmations, Visualizations, Prayers and Scripture on the Christian Hypnobirthing app. I became super relaxed, at peace and began to really find my zone. Every time they checked on baby, baby was in the 130’s and 140’s so that helped bring me relief and comfort. 

 

Waves continued on in various intensities. Some of them I would doze off between… Other times I found myself wanting to socialize a bit. At one point, the midwives asked if I wanted breakfast. Perhaps my body needed more sustenance… So they brought me a veggie omelet and hashbrowns. Norman brought it to me on the bed with a cookie sheet as a bed tray! This will forever go down as my favorite memory of this birth outside of the moment of emergence! I sat there, on the bed, between waves… Eating an omelet and hashbrowns that are doused in honey! We talked, we laughed, we joked. I worked through the waves as they came but suddenly I felt the change… Transition was hitting. I had a wave hit that brought forth so much emotion, so much pressure in my hips, rectum and cervical areas. I had to push my food away to give me room to move and vocalize. I made it through one, proceeded to eat more and made it through another before I felt the full change over in both my physical body, my spirit and my focus. Transition was here. 

 

I told the birth team I was done, it was time for the tub. I couldn’t do it anymore. I went to the bathroom and then carefully curated which side of the tub I could enter with support from the bed. Once in the tub, I felt my entire body melt into the warmth. My waves were intense. I could feel baby moving down but it just didn’t seem fast enough. The pressure in my hips were unbearable and I just wanted to be done. I vocalized, I became frustrated with some waves, I cried. The intensity was unlike anything I ever remember before. Jayde sat on the floor at my head. I couldn’t open my eyes… I just buried my head into the tub between waves and rolled my forehead against the tub with waves. I moved my hips, I stretched my legs out behind me, I did runners lunge on both sides as I felt my body was asking. I helped myself with some counter pressure with each wave as the downward pressure became more intense. 

 

At one point, I just needed Norman to be near me, to feel his connection and to hold his hand. I wanted to run away at this point. I couldn’t breathe through some of the waves. I couldn’t even vocalize through some of them because they took my breath away. This became way more intense than I was prepared for. Jayde tried to do a hip squeeze at one point after vocalizing how awful my hips were hurting with each wave… I would rub my belly and feel it tighten but the pain was all in my pelvis. When Jayde tried the hip squeeze, I felt like I was going to go through the roof. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t catch my breath. I repeated “nope!” and “no, no, no” through many of them. I felt like a contortionist through some of them with the way I would stretch and twist my body. 

 

Once I began getting pushy, things escalated quickly. I held myself and felt baby bulging my regions. I stuck a couple fingers inside to feel baby’s head descending down. The beginning of Fetal Ejection had me doing tiny little half pushes. Just enough to help everything stretch. I remember being asked a few times if I was ready for the kids, but it just wasn’t time. The pressure was intense and pushing didn’t bring me as much relief as I remember with Barrett. The stretching was just intense. At one point, I inserted a couple of fingers to feel if baby’s head was descending. I could feel baby’s head in the birth canal. As we got closer to baby crowning, I asked for the kids to be brought in as baby was close. My body would not allow for him to descend slowly. As baby crowned, I tried to map out which way baby was facing but baby was coming too fast. It just felt like baby was stretching me the wrong way… Like my perineum was not being stretched. I felt the ring of fire more towards the front… I could feel my body wanting to just push baby out with all my might. I tried to slow down my pushing and allow my body to stretch, but there was no break between waves of FER. I audibly told myself to quit pushing. To slow down. I told myself I HAD TO slow this baby down or else I would tear terribly. I was able to slow baby down just enough to prevent major tearing… ending up with just a few tiny skidmarks… Once baby crowned, baby’s head was out. I remember being asked to stop pushing once baby’s head emerged to check for cord, however my body was not allowing for that. Once baby’s head was out, I managed to announce “heads out” and my body bore down and birthed baby’s shoulders. I reached down with my other hand, as one hand was already on baby’s head to guide baby out… I grabbed baby, felt the rest of baby’s body emerge and pulled baby to my chest. 

Immediately upon emerging from the water, baby was screaming! All I can remember at this point was trying to adjust my body against the tub to lay back and bring baby to my chest. My eyes had been closed this entire time in an effort to concentrate on bringing baby out. Once I was laying back in the tub, I was able to open my eyes and see a loop of cord around baby’s neck. I proceeded to begin removing the cord loop, taking in this sweet SCREAMING baby and admire in how tiny this little human was. 

 

At one point I was able to glance up between my awe over this little baby on my chest. Between the “you’re so tiny!” and just absolute disbelief that I’ve once again birthed a baby undisturbed. I was able to glance up at all four of the older kids standing in awe. There were huge smiles, lots of “awwww” and tears! 

 

Baby continued to cry without ceasing! Baby was pinking up immediately and at one point I heard, “I give baby a 10 out of 10!” I went to scoop baby up to get baby closer to my chest and I glimpsed between baby’s legs without even thinking… and saw that baby is a BOY! I was in absolute shock as I had felt like baby was a GIRL this entire time! And… being right for the older three kiddos, I was VERY confident in my intuition. However, this time, I simply said, “Wow! I was wrong! It’s a BOY!”

 

We hung out in the tub for awhile marveling over him! I was given a shot of Angelica Tincture and I felt extra crampy and kept trying to push the placenta out. The cord was lengthening so we knew it was coming… finally I felt a release and the placenta balled up within me, one good push and I was able to deliver the placenta all on my own! So this time I not only caught baby on my own, again, but I fully delivered the placenta on my own! Feeling baby’s head emerging before truly crowning was amazing and knowing I have the strength to birth a baby on my own through the intense waves was so empowering. I was bleeding normally, the water was still see-through and I felt great. 

 

We cut the cord, handed baby to daddy and worked on getting me out of the tub, to the toilet and setup to go to the bed. I did not want to get out of the tub as the gravity is not nice to a fresh postpartum body. 

 

Once in the bed, we worked on getting baby to latch and settled in for golden hour! We were left to lay skin-to-skin, replenish, nurse and marvel! The kids made a birthday cake and came to sing Happy Birthday to Badrick! I was given a placenta smoothie and then we did the newborn exam! The midwives worked on cleaning everything up after the newborn exam, made sure I was having success with latching him as I had made comments about his tiny mouth potentially causing latch issues… But he latched beautifully since the first latch and has been a nursing champ ever since! Once everything was cleaned up and we were all settled in, everyone began to leave. Lindy and Lorraine stayed to help with the older four kiddos while I worked on resting and learning all about this sweet little boy who is clearly going to always keep me on my toes and guessing myself! 

 

Badrick Stone Benson

19.5 inches long

6lbs 4oz

11:23am

January 26, 2022