Earthside: Bentley's Story
Our NST went really well with very good accelerations and deceleration's of baby's heart tones right when the doctor wanted to see them and all was looking well. My fundal height had dropped from 41 weeks down to 38 weeks so a great sign that baby was engaging and preparing for his birth earthside! Because of baby's amniotic fluid level being on the lower side of normal, his size being a touch smaller than they'd like to see and because I was already 39 weeks, my doctor suggested an induction to bring baby earthside. I was dilated to 2 centimeters and effaced to 50%, so my doctor mentioned my cervix seemed pretty favorable for an induction. He went ahead and stripped my membranes with my permission and sent me on my way home to prepare for the birth of my sweet baby boy!
Around 11pm that night, Ben and I went to bed to rest up for the next day. I slept so well until around 2:30am when my bladder screamed that it needed to be emptied! After that time, there was no going back. I tossed and turned in bed until I decided it wasn't worth it and around 3am I got up, took a shower and tried to get something light into my stomach. I went over everything in our bags to ensure that we would have everything we needed at the hospital for our stay.
While I was in the shower, I noticed some slimy stuff in my nether regions and I started pulling it out. Turns out, I was having my very first experience with mucus plug mixed with some bloody show! I was both grossed out and wildly fascinated all at the same time! Around a quarter to five in the morning I started to notice a lot of pressure in my pelvis that required some breathing techniques and movement to get through. At this time it was 6am and time to call the hospital to make certain they had a room available for us, and they did! At that very moment all the nerves, the emotions and excitement set right in. We loaded up our car and by 7am we were checked in and getting all settled into our home-away-from-home for the next few days.
Room 278. The room where my sweet baby boy would make his grand entrance into this big, bright world! I took a few minutes to take it all in and then it was down to business. My IV was placed and boy was that a doozy. My left hand proved to be stubborn and I was left with a blown vein so we had to insert it on the inside of my right arm down by my wrist. What a giant pain! Shortly after my IV was placed, Dr. L made his first, of many, appearance. I was still just 2 centimeters dilated and 50% effaced. The pitocin was then started and we were left alone to ride out the waves.
My contractions began almost immediately. I was moving around, laying on my sides and moaning through each contraction. Quite honestly, I did not expect that the pitocin would work that quickly and I was not at all prepared for how strong the contractions would be at the get-go. Every time I moved, baby's heart tones would disappear, so Dr. L suggested we rupture my membranes and insert internal monitors on baby which would also monitor the strength of my contractions more accurately. After my membranes were ruptured, the contractions definitely kicked it up a notch. I did a lot of walking, sitting on the birth ball, leaning against the bed while both sitting and standing; I just kept moving. When I would lie down, my contractions would move to my back. This suggested to the nurses that baby was facing posterior (facing my belly or "sunny side up") which is not an ideal position for labor. When remaining upright, the contractions remained in my belly suggesting that baby was settling into the proper anterior position for birth. All I could manage to do was moan during each contraction and breathe.
About a quarter after 11am, I was checked by the nurse and I had progressed to 3 centimeters dilated but remained at 50% effaced. This was incredibly discouraging, especially after how strong the contractions were already and I was offered the epidural at that point. I took some time to talk it over with Ben and decided that even though I didn't really feel I needed it, maybe it would allow me to rest and allow baby to move down quicker. I was exhausted and, honestly, a bit scared. I had a room full of people who didn't really know how to support me through contractions and a spouse who was trying to entertain everyone like they were guests at a party we were hosting. The lights were on, the room loud and cold; it just wasn't an ideal birthing space. But at the time, I had no idea labor support persons, AKA Doulas, even existed.
While the epidural was being placed, I actually fell asleep in-between the contractions. The contractions were insanely intense making me feel incredibly weak and vulnerable. I had no idea that my body was capable of such great pain. I was to the point that I had to really focus during contractions, breathe, remain quiet and not open my eyes. In all the birthing books I had read, this meant I was in active labor and probably 4-6 centimeters dilated! In my head I was excited, but I had an odd feeling that pitocin labors just didn't mirror the textbook quite like I had hoped.
About an hour after the epidural was placed I had another cervical check. I was, once again, 3 centimeters dilated and 50% effaced. No change. What.The.Crap. I was a bit stumped... I had the epidural so I was relaxed and peaceful. I was laying on my side so my pelvis would remain open. What was wrong with my cervix?! What was wrong with my body?!
An hour later I was checked again... No change. At this point a catheter was placed because of the epidural. I decided to go ahead and take a nap. I had Ben grab the iPod, I put the headphones in, turned on my "Ocean Relaxation" music and closed my eyes. I slept MAYBE 20 minutes and then a rush of nurses came storming into my room, flipped me over to my left side without warning and shoved an oxygen mask onto my face. I was terrified. Tears started welling into my eyes. What was going on? I couldn't even ask questions because of the oxygen mask. I couldn't see my son's heart tones because the screens were on the opposite side of the way I was laying. What was going on?!
When Bentley's heart tones stabilized, the nurses explained to us that the pitocin was causing a string of intense contractions that were 30 seconds to a minute apart and baby just wasn't tolerating it. At that point we made the decision to turn off the pitocin to give my body and baby a break. I sat straight up in my hospital bed and begged them to take the epidural catheter out of my back, but they refused. I regretted the decision to get the epidural and I just wanted it out. The epidural along with all the medical interventions I subjected my baby and body to was causing us more harm than good.
With the pitocin turned off, my contractions spaced out but they remained very intense. The nurses mentioned they look for contractions with a strength of around 150 but mine were ranging in the 200's. As I sat there with the pitocin turned off, I noticed that I was regaining feeling in my feet. My epidural was wearing off... At this time it was around 3:30pm and I had another cervical check which showed... no change. At a quarter after five I was checked again... no change. I was anterior and my cervix was getting softer, but it just would not dilate or efface. So much for a favorable cervix for induction. So, we decided to turn on the pitocin again to get the contractions rolling once more.
There were talks of a Cesarean Section and it just broke my heart. Yes, I wanted a healthy baby and I wanted to remain healthy as well. But I just wanted a vaginal birth so badly. We continued with the pitocin and we made the decision together that if baby had a deceleration with the contractions, we would shut it off and get prepped for the Big C.
It didn't take long for the contractions to stack up again and with that, baby was starting to have deceleration's again. So, I had a very scared and anxious spouse call the nurses in to give them the news that we would be heading back for surgery before this all became an emergency situation. My cervix just wouldn't budge, they wouldn't allow me out of the bed to walk even though the epidural was long gone. I was just out of ideas at that point and I felt hopeless, out of control and like I had no other options.
By 7:45pm I was prepped, Ben was prepped, I was given the neutralizing drink and at 8pm we were wheeled into the operating room. I was transferred from the bed to the operating table and instructed to sit up to have my epidural reestablished. But, what the anesthesiologist found was an epidural
catheter pulled out of my back. They ended up taking the epidural away and placing a spinal instead. Almost instantly after lying down, I had no feeling in my feet or legs. I kept trying and trying to move them but they wouldn't budge. I was slowly starting to panic... as if a failed induction wasn't bad enough, now I can feel the spinal moving up my body all the way to my chest.
I kept breathing the best that I could, but it was strenuous work... I felt that had I quit focusing on breathing that my body would just quit breathing all together. The anesthesiologist tried to reassure me that it was normal, but even he had a concerned look on his face...
Finally, they let Ben into the room and the flood of emotions just let loose. I cried because I failed at a healthy, vaginal birth. I cried because I was scared out of my mind to have a cesarean. I cried because I was excited to hear that tiny little baby cry. I cried because I couldn't wait to hold this little being that spent the last 9 months squirming around in my belly.
I began feeling lots of tugging, pulling, pressing and tons of pressure. The next thing I heard was, "the head is out!" I heard suctioning and then the sweet sound of my baby's very first cry! I started bawling my eyes out! I saw our doctor hand him off to a nurse and take him to a table behind my head where they examined him, Ben cut his umbilical cord, the nurse reassured Ben that "you can touch your baby!" and then he was brought to me, by his daddy, so I could see this sweet little baby we had created together!
During the time they stitched me up, daddy took Bentley to our room. At this point my body was beginning to show signs of being done. I was still having a terrible time breathing, I was super nauseous but because it was nearly impossible for me to take in deep breaths, I was barely coughing. I ended up blacking out, but I have no idea for how long and when I finally came-to, the anesthesiologist acted as if he had no idea I had been out.
Finally, I was wheeled to my room and got to see and hold my baby! I held him, I kissed him, I curled his tiny fingers around mine. I was instantly in love and just couldn't believe that he was all ours! We awed over our precious baby and then he was weighed, measured and bathed.
Bentley Jacob Sloan
September 23, 2010 at 8:24pm
6 pounds 14 ounces and 18.5 inches
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