Earthside: Barrett's Birth Story
*beep beep* Oh man, there was the alarm to wake up and get Bentley off to school. I was overly emotional this morning, here my first baby boy was 4 and a half years old and I was pregnant with our third precious blessing. Soon we would know if Bentley would have another little sister or his first little brother!
I rolled out of a bed like a turtle stuck on his shell. This was the first pregnancy that I experienced difficulty in quite literally *everything* I did on a day-to-day basis. I got Bentley out of bed and he promptly began to get himself ready for school. Man, I just couldn't believe how independent this boy was, the emotions started showing on my face as my eyes welled up with tears. I sat in the rocking chair while waiting for him to finish up getting dressed and promptly around 7:30am I stood up to sit on the front porch with my boy as we waited for the bus.
That's the exact moment the sensations began. As I stood up, a sensation took over me like the warm, peaceful air of a beach. It stopped me in my tracks and forced me to surrender my control. After Bentley got on the bus I began taking note of what I was feeling. The sensations were irregular, some mild, some strong.
I spent the morning doing housework and wondering if all the walking I did the day before caused an upset in my uterus and this was all just due to exhaustion, not actually my body doing the real work. Dishes, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, laundry... I did it all. I had to keep my mind off these sensations or I would overthink each and every one of them. By 9:30am I alerted our doula and photographer to update them on the happenings within me and by 12:30pm I felt a strong urgency to alert our midwife as well. But, they remained irregular and inconsistent so by 2:30pm I found myself at the chiropractor's office getting an adjustment just in case this was my last chance to keep everything aligned and flowing smoothly. I left their office with a bunch of "good luck!" and proceeded about my day getting more anxious by the minute.
4:15pm, baby squirms frantically and drops very noticeably. The absolute strangest feeling I had ever felt in the three full-term pregnancies I have had. After baby dropped, I felt each movement of baby's head and it felt as if my pelvic floor was cupping strongly around baby's head. Then, my phone rings, it's Ben. I instantly melted down. I hadn't alerted him of what had been happening as I didn't want him being anxious all day or leaving work early worrying he'd miss the birth. I was sure the sensations would fizzle out and Ben would be off on his work trip the very next morning with our baby coming earthside sometime in the weekend hours.
But, I melted down when he called. This labor was panning out to be very similar to Bailey's which was intense, exhausting and drawn out. Because we were planning a homebirth, I was beginning to doubt my ability to weather another intense, drawn out labor while staying home. With words of affirmations and reassurance from my sweet, adoring husband; we ended our phone conversation as he'd be home in a matter of minutes. I continued on with the mindless household duties and began getting dinner prepared as our midwives would be visiting us in a matter of a few short hours.
After Ben's arrival home, we all sat down to a quiet dinner and had a surprise visit from Papa Sloan checking in on us as we had alerted Nana Sloan of our happenings that day. But, alas, the sensations were remaining at a irregular and inconsistent pattern. I didn't want to jump the gun and send the kids off just to have everything fizzle out. Besides, I secretly longed to birth in the wee hours of the morning while the Bigs slept peacefully in their beds.
During our midwife visit we went over the usual questions, urine test and a belly palpation. The palpation findings were a very, very stiff uterus so it was extremely difficult for the midwives to determine an accurate positioning of our precious babe. Baby felt low, but not super low as I had expected. My pubic bone was quite mushy, which I was told was a super awesome sign! I was measuring 41 weeks at the fundal height and since they were having a difficult time finding baby's heart tones with the fetoscope, we had the honor of listening to Baby Buck's with the doppler as a family. What an emotional experience. Laying there on the couch with my Bigs, my husband by my side, our midwives enjoying such healthy, beautiful heart tones and my birthing space all ready to usher earthside our perfect babe.
I consented to a cervical check after a grueling discussion with our midwives and it was found that I was dilated to 1 centimeter but stretched to 2 centimeters and I was 60% effaced. I was both elated and disappointed in the same breath. Our midwives suggested a relaxing Epsom Salt bath with Lavender Essential Oil that would help the sensations fizzle down if this was prodormal labor. After our midwives retreated and our kids were asleep in their beds, Ben and I relaxed.
Around 8:30pm I felt a wave of exhaustion. My body was telling me to rest. I suggested that we head to bed soon and I continued sitting on the birth ball, sipping water and watching TV. I was still having sensations but they were still very irregular and inconsistent in intensity. I was convinced that they would fizzle out once I laid down for the night similar to the way they fizzled out when I laid down for a nap earlier in the day.
9:36pm rolled around and we found ourselves snuggled up in bed listening to our Hypnobabies 'Come Out Baby.' I fell asleep rather quickly but woke up to a few sensations that were quite intense. Since I had quit timing them altogether, I had no idea how far apart they were. Despite how utterly exhausted I felt, these particular sensations had me up on my hands and knees in the bed with my face buried in my pillow to muffle out my moans, swaying my hips back and forth as well as side to side. At 10:58pm I took note of the sensations I was feeling. These sensations were in my hips and back despite baby being in the ideal anterior and flexed position. 11:16pm and I decided it wasn't worth the fight anymore. My body was telling me it needed the bathtub. As the midwives had suggested, I ran a relaxing bath with Epsom Salts and Lavender Essential Oil. Once I sunk into that bathtub, a wave of calm overcame my body, mind and soul. But the sensations, they intensified quicker than I was prepared for. I found myself leaning over the side of the bathtub with my knees spread as far apart as I could possibly get them. I envisioned and encouraged my sweet baby to descend and I recited my favorite affirmations as each sensation took a break.
Figuring that my sensations were around ten minutes apart, I timed them; only to find out they were now three to five minutes apart and lasting about a minute and a half each. At this point I alerted our doula, photographer and family friend to all be on standby. 12:30am and Ben woke up, discovering that I was missing from our bed, he wandered downstairs to find me laboring in our bathtub. I broke the news that he wouldn't be attending his work trip that day as we were welcoming our sweet babe sometime that day.
1:30am and our doula found me laboring in the bathtub; sweet soothing music playing while my body did its sacred work to bring this babe earthside. She got her essential oils running, peaceful white lights strung up and plugged in my soothing music to her speaker. Shortly thereafter our photographer and family friend arrived and joined the labor party.
It had been several hours in the bathtub so I felt it was time for a break and around 2am, I dried off and joined everyone in our tranquil birth space in the living room. We all talked and laughed in-between sensations. I sat on the birth ball, only to find out that I could not tolerate that position. My pelvic floor felt so pressurized with the birth ball pressing against it; even leaning on the birth tub with sensations did not take off enough pressure. Around 2:30am I had noticed my sensations felt less intense since I had been laboring in our birth space and she confirmed that they had spaced out a bit. So I chose to labor around our home in different positions.
After only a half an hour of walking around our home, I was too tired to continue, so I decided to warm up the bathtub and continue laboring in there. It's the one place I felt most in control and the calmest. Before sinking back into the bathtub, I emptied my bladder and checked my cervix. My cervix was much more effaced and dilated, but I had no signs of blood show or losing my mucus plug at this point. But, in that moment, I felt a strange wave come over my body and as if someone was standing right beside me in that dark bathroom, I heard "your water will break soon, your baby is coming to you!" To say this brought a strange sense of calm is an understatement. I was listening to my body and surrendering every fiber to allow my body to do its sacred work.
I resided back into the comforts of the warm, soothing water with our doula by my side tingling my head with the head massager sending the most perfect chills down my spine. About 4am I was leaning over the side of the bathtub with my pelvis opened wide when I felt a pop and a gush of warm fluid around my thighs. I announced quietly that my water had just broke. Our doula acted quickly with a flashlight and checked the water for any signs of meconium, but all she found was some blood; a good sign of cervical progression!
That next sensation came on with such great strength like a vice grip slowly but surely squeezing harder and harder; it hit me like a freightrain. My hips felt as if they would explode under the pressure. I vocalized my pain, I felt the tears and angst well up in my face. I felt Buck's movements so much more clearly now, there was no cushion to soften him. I begged Buck to quit moving. I needed him to quit moving. I cried out for Buck to please be still.
I laid back into the bathtub, the downward pressure was just too much to bear anymore. I proceeded to flip side to side as my body asked in-between sensations. "I can't do this anymore, I just can't, it's much too painful" I pleaded to our doula. But, as I said that I began feeling "pushy" and demanded the midwife be called and our birth tub to be filled. Our baby was descending, he was coming to us and he was coming quicker than I was prepared for. I began burping like a drunk who's about to throw up, trembling and shivering with such great force in-between each sensation. Our doula poured sweet warm water over my exposed body but the water had cooled just enough that it was not helping me as much as I longed for.
Transition was upon us. By that point I guessed my cervix had opened to 8 centimeters but I was ready to give up. With each sensation I swayed my legs side to side, pushed my backside against the bathtub wall to create counter-pressure on my hips and I moaned loud and low experimenting with different deep sounds to divert my mind off the sensations. With each sensation, it took my breath away. But, with each release of the sensation I felt such sweet relief and thanked God each time. I found myself relaxing and releasing all tension I allowed to build up in my body. In my head I congratulated myself, jumping up and down inside with joy over how much control I had this time around. It was almost an outer-body experience of sorts.
With some sensations my moans became higher pitched and a voice reminded me to stay low and calm with my voice and to breathe out my bum. "Breathe baby out" I heard with each sensation.
Around 4:45am, after a water hose disaster in the living room and extra work from our birth team to sop up the mess, my birth tub was ready. I wasn't sure if I could manage getting out of the bathtub and walking the length to our birthing space. With a voice telling me I had carefully and meticulously set up the perfect birthing space for Buck to come earthside, I found the strength I needed. Conveniently, my sensations subsided for a moment to allow me the "now or never" moment for my birth team to get me to our birth tub quickly but safely.
Wrapped up in towels, we made the journey to our birthing space. After hearing a quick warning that our water was a bit warmer than we desired, I plunged into that sweet, soothing hot water. Instantly my body relaxed and melted into that tub. Such sweet relief and joy! With the next sensation I felt the overwhelming urge to push. I alerted our doula that I had to push and she reassured me that I could listen to my body and do what it needed me to do. So, I pushed. Because our midwives hadn't arrived yet, our family friend asked our doula if she had delivered babies before. Typically, my mind would have freaked out in that moment, but I knew I had the strength to deliver this baby all on my own and that's what I intended to do.
I felt Buck descending and baby's head close to crowning. With each urge, I surrendered my body and allowed myself to push as my body needed. Suddenly I felt an intense urge to push and a voice telling me to feel below and much to my surprise, there was our baby's head! Just a small silver of it, but I felt warm, slimy baby head! As I pushed, I could feel the "ring of fire" so I slowly traced my finger around baby's head encouraging stretching to prevent tearing. Just then, as if Buck was telling me the tracing sensation was too much to bear, Buck squirmed and baby's head completely disappeared! With a little bit of discouragement, I pushed baby down even further to the point I could feel baby's forehead. Again, I traced my finger around baby's head with a slight pressure to help myself stretch and to figure out which way baby was positioned. With certainty, I determined baby was indeed anterior! As I allowed myself to stretch, I could feel Buck squirming as if he was fighting the inevitable of coming earthside. So I gave very small pushes to encourage Buck to surrender to the birth.
Hooray! Our midwives have made their arrival! As they were gathering our birthing supplies patiently waiting in the office, I suddenly felt an intense urge to push with great strength. With that surrendering, I quietly announced that baby's head was out. With that moment, the commotion in our birthing space picked up; no one was aware I was pushing so efficiently or that baby was that close to being born. "Oh, it is!" I heard our doula exclaim, something I'll never forget! With a few more small pushes, Buck's shoulders popped free, I scooped my hands underneath baby's armpits and I pulled Buck the rest of the way out! Buck felt super long, I felt as if I was pulling for miles before I felt the feet exit my birth canal.
I yelled out, "Thank You, Jesus!" over and over as I brought Buck to my chest and laid back into the birth tub in one swift movement. The helping hands came upon us to check baby's heart tones, Ben's hands proceeded to brush my hair and face and I felt his sweet kiss grace the top of my head. Buck let out a couple small coughs so our midwife gently stimulated his back and suddenly, with a great roar, our baby let out a great big cry!
"Oh, thank you, Jesus!" with tears streaming down my face. "I'm so glad that's over!" I looked around at this room full of such strength, love, support and empowerment. I had overcome all my fears and anxieties throughout my pregnancy and birth, I was amazed by my mental strength and ability to talk myself through each sensation. I was especially amazed by this beautiful little being laying on my chest making his transition earthside!
It seemed like days, but I had completely forgotten we didn't know who had just came earhtside! So, in that very moment I exclaimed, "I guess we better find out who you are!"
IT'S A BOY!
I cried. Tears of joy. Tears of disbelief that my vibes were right for a THIRD time. Tears of pure, sweet happiness.
Our little Mr. Barrett Jackson. As perfect as can be. So beautiful, so covered in incredible Birthday Frosting, peach fuzz and birth glory! Such a beautiful moment shared with the most incredible Birth Team! As we were all caught up in the moment, our midwife asked if I was feeling crampy at all; but I wasn't. With her suggestion, I gave a few effortless pushes and earthside was Buck's incredible placenta!
I decided to get out of the birth tub around an hour after baby's birth and as I was settling into the rocking chair where my contractions had began only 22 hours ago, Big Brother Bentley came downstairs to a living room full of so much commotion! The tears began flowing again in a rush of overwhelming tingles. Big Brother gave me a hug with a confused look on his face I told him to go see what his daddy had in his arms!
After being checked for any tearing, Barrett was handed back to me, we tied off his cord and for the third time, he disconnected his precious baby from the placenta! Barrett latched on for the very first time and we all sat there for the placenta inspection before it was packaged up to go home with our doula to become encapsulated. Once I got a shower and daddy got some daddy-son time, we all retreated upstairs to our bedroom for the newborn examination. What an incredible experience we had! I am so thankful we followed our instincts and chose a homebirth for the birth of our third precious babe! I didn't realize how important this birth and experience would be to me until five and a half months later when my dear husband passed away unexpectedly. I am so thankful for the memories that I'll be able to share with our precious son as he grows older.
Barrett Jackson Sloan
April 30, 2015 at 5:12am
7 pounds 9 ounces 21" inches
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