Be Wild and Free

I'm going to be a bit deep and raw here. I've been struggling. I'm in a season and I know it's just a season... but the enemy has a grip on me because I'm in a weak place in this season of life. I feel like a hamster stuck on its wheel. The exit seems obvious for those looking from the outside, but for the hamster, it's elusive.  I had my fifth baby almost six months ago. Before Badrick's birth, I was in a groove; a really solid routine. I had my morning routine of waking up around 5am to read a chapter in a personal growth book, read a chapter in my Bible, journal a bit, look at my day in my planner, go over the goals I've set for the month; all the things. Some mornings I would even do a workout either an hour of yoga, an hour of HIIT, or on mornings Norman was home, I'd even go for a six mile run.  My evening routine was just as peaceful and set me up for a great night of sleep to begin my next day all over again. I would get all the kiddos to bed...

It's early morning and I'm mulling over a Midwifery Unschool website. Ready to click the button and become a midwifery student.  "Not quite yet, my child. Not quite yet." I close down the browser. Slightly annoyed. Slightly relieved. Full of questions. Full of doubt. Full of anticipation. Full of excitement for all the burning passions within my soul.  God is giving me beautiful lessons in taking my time in creation. A lesson in patience as he (very) slowly hands me each piece of the puzzle and guides me in where it belongs. A lesson in waiting on Him to speak and tell me my next move. He has given me so many visions of what He has in store for me and the path in which He is calling me down. But the anticipation is something I'm being called to sit with. Each time I feel I've drained every nook and cranny within me on website design, but it's not finished yet, I'm reminded that He will build and create His plan for my life on His time and according to ...

Have you ever felt "blocked" from hearing God? Have you found yourself wondering if you're hearing from Him? Have you wondered if He's forgotten about you? Have you found yourself questioning previous answers from God because you're not sure if you're hearing Him lately? This post might be jumbled, so please forgive me. I have found myself in this weird creative energy flow this week and it's keeping me up at night... literally. I've poured myself a hot cup of Lavender Chamomile tea (my absolute FAV), I have some protein bars for sustenance, I'm cozied up in my bed with my Himalayan Salt Lamps as ambient lighting (get you some, here's what we bought... THIS  and four of THESE for around the house!), my "labor playlist" playing through my AirPods and a precious little babe sleeping right next to me. Anyways. After spending far too long looking for those links... Here I am. It's been five months since our fifth baby graced us Earth...