Honor Your Season

I'm going to be a bit deep and raw here. I've been struggling. I'm in a season and I know it's just a season... but the enemy has a grip on me because I'm in a weak place in this season of life. I feel like a hamster stuck on its wheel. The exit seems obvious for those looking from the outside, but for the hamster, it's elusive. 

I had my fifth baby almost six months ago. Before Badrick's birth, I was in a groove; a really solid routine. I had my morning routine of waking up around 5am to read a chapter in a personal growth book, read a chapter in my Bible, journal a bit, look at my day in my planner, go over the goals I've set for the month; all the things. Some mornings I would even do a workout either an hour of yoga, an hour of HIIT, or on mornings Norman was home, I'd even go for a six mile run. 

My evening routine was just as peaceful and set me up for a great night of sleep to begin my next day all over again. I would get all the kiddos to bed, put on some calming music or worship music, take a long and hot shower with the light turned off; using only my ambient lighting to see. After my shower I would use my favorite essential oils on my skin, a magnesium lotion and diffuse my favorite oils in the diffuser. I would do a little bit of reading, some prayer journaling, a daily devotion... 

Our homeschooling routine was just as solid. My work routine solid still. Once the kids woke up from their nightly slumber, they'd eat breakfast and we'd begin our academic work. After academics were done, I'd spend some time working while the kids had some free time before we all came back together for an afternoon of whatever we felt led to do together. 

I made it to zoom calls, I read all the time, I had time to sit and study for hours. I really felt as if I was in a season of growth. Metaphorically and literally as I was also growing our fifth child. I remember feeling apprehension about birthing our baby because I knew, while in a very good way, that the birth of our baby would disrupt the incredible routine we had going on. 

And... he did. Now I find myself struggling to journal, struggling to read my Bible daily outside of the Bible app on my phone. I'm struggling to read one simple book. I've only managed to read 1.5 books in the past six months. I keep missing training zoom calls, I'm not as active in important groups I'm in. I'm struggling to keep up with the changing times. I sat down to go live in a Facebook group on multiple occasions but the baby demanded my attention each time. 

Some days I cope with the constant interruptions well. Other days I find myself so frustrated and wishing it were different. Though, I know this is a season. It won't be like this forever. 

As much as I remind myself and as much as it's on repeat within my head some days, I tend to find myself stuck in the cycle of comparison. 

And comparison is the thief of joy. 

While I'm here nurturing these five kiddos, homeschooling them and trying to build a business in the literal nooks and crannies. I see others who seem to be flourishing in all their areas of life. Their businesses are flourishing, they're on every single training call, they're keeping up with all the ever-changing things. 

We can give everyone around us grace, but we can't seem to give ourselves grace. 

I was given a task to go live about honoring your season... and the words that slipped from my mouth were not of me or from me. God was speaking to me THROUGH me. I'm in a season of flying by the seat of my pants. A season where my priority is right here in my home. God has been constantly reminding me that He has me right where HE needs me and where HE wants me. 

God has been giving me snippets of the plans He has for me and they're so exciting but yet so overwhelming in the same breath. I get stuck in the thought process that I'm not enough, I don't know where to start and if I'm supposed to be doing THAT then I need to start NOW! 

But God keeps reminding me that for some things, now is not the time. 

Sometimes we get caught up in seeing what everyone else is accomplishing and doing. Other times we get caught up in thinking we should be doing more. We get stuck in thinking we have to have everything right now or we'll never have it at all. 

I've been feeling very blocked. Emotionally, creatively, mentally, physically. I'll have a good day and then feel punished for having one good day by having multiple really crappy days. This season has been a struggle. My productivity level is down in every area of my life and that's been a trauma I'm being forced to pay attention to. 

In this season of life, we've slowed way down. In this season of life, I've had to say "No." In this season of life, I've had to prioritize sleep over another training call. In this season of life, I've had to pivot to virtual trainings instead of traveling to be there in-person. 

Nothing is happening on my timeline. Perhaps that's the whole point. Breakthrough is in the flexibility. Breakthrough is in the quiet. Breakthrough is in the doing less, not doing more. 

Honor your season. Accept your season. Some seasons are for growing. Some seasons are for resting. Some seasons are for harvesting. It's hard to see the lesson when we're in the middle of the fire. 

Hard work. Diligence. Skill. Persistence. Competence. Leadership. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

“…beautiful in its time.”

A more accurate translation of the word that is translated here as “beautiful” is “appropriate.” Everything that happens, happens just when it should happen according to God’s plan. This doesn’t necessarily help to understand why, but it does allow us to trust him and find our ultimate purpose in that.

“yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

Knowing that God is in control, that everything happens at the appropriate time, and that we are eternal, our actions having eternal significance, does not change the fact that we don’t always understand what God is actually doing and why. Sometimes he reveals himself, but often he is content to leave us with this fact: he does everything for his glory and for our good (Isa 48:9; Ro 8:28).

Let's honor this season, friends. Let's forget what anyone else might be thinking or their opinions upon our lives. Let's dig in deep to this season we're in and allow the lessons to unfold precisely how they're meant to be.