Biblical Self-Care
Let’s talk about Self-Care. Biblical Self-Care, that is!
Biblical self-care is a form of worship but you don’t have to enslave yourself to any standards or performance expectations. If you do try to set your own expectations and standards, it’s a recipe for burn out.
Have you ever asked yourself if self-care is Biblical? Have you ever thought that self-care is selfish or self-worship? Self-care is the sacred work of caring for the temple of the Most High and it’s vitally important.
Getting into a habit and routine of spending time with God and recognizing HIM. You’re sowing into the kingdom because we are the temple of the living God. Our inner healing comes from the Lord.
By taking care of ourselves, it’s an act of worship, it is time with Him and it is honoring. Honoring with your body, with your life. This is where the Lord has asked you to reside. We are the temple AND the temple-keeper at the same time.
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV
Ok, so what exactly is self-care? Here’s a few things that self-care is NOT. It is not “indulgence” like getting your nails done, getting your hair done or a spa day. It is not “checking out and distractions” such as TV or scrolling through your phone.
Ask yourself, “Is this nourishing my soul right now? Is this allowing me to come back to my family refreshed?” If the answer is no, then it is not self-care.
In 1 Kings 19, Elijah was burnt out, struggling and lagging. The angel came to Elijah and basically said, “you need a nap, food and drink!” We must care for our physical AND our emotional. Our prayer life AND our physical life. These are not separate things.
Our bodies are much like God is Jesus is Spirit. The Trinity. What we do affects all of our parts because it is one. Jesus: body. Father: mind, will, emotions. Holy Spirit: commune with God.
So, how do we plan our self-care? What can we do?
Be proactive by creating a self-care plan. By being proactive, you can avoid burnout. If you build this in, proactively, you will be able to maintain a degree of wellness and balance.
Remember, self-care is a place of worship. We’re also examples to our children, so demonstrate these healthy habits to your children and they’ll be more likely to mirror it themselves. Don’t be afraid to shift these as seasons of life change. Reevaluate with 7 principles as needed.
Emergency: when your brain is foggy/panicky. Small, achievable.
Pray, worship music, call a safe person to verbally process, get a cup of tea, shower, put your hair up, put on essential oils, get something nourishing to eat and drink, get into nature and ground.
Daily Diversions: take a little bit of time to do something that is just relaxing. Something that feels good to your soul. This can be as little as 30 minutes. Daily moments of spending time with the Lord.
Weekly Sabbath: a day to cease work. VERY Biblical
Quarterly Retreat: get away for a whole day/overnight. Get out of your daily life. Unplug. Go deeper. Disconnect and retreat.
Annual Vacate: lift out. Go elsewhere. Don’t stay here.
You cannot keep up any kind of high intensity lifestyle without these practices and principles built in.
PUT THESE ON YOUR CALENDAR. PLAN IT OUT. Take responsibility for your self-care. Set your mind and your will to doing it with intention.
Even Jesus slipped away, often, into the wilderness to pray and worship.
In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there. Mark 1:35
But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray. Luke 5:16
Then Jesus *came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and *said to His disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” Matthew 26:36
Jesus also asks, “Are you weary? Do you have heavy burdens? Come to me.”
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28
He will refresh your life. He will be your refuge, your oasis, your place to rest. Join your life with Him. Lay down your burdens. Let Him be the place you run to. That is self-care. That is addressing baseline needs, physiological needs.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Can you climb the pyramid? Can you meet these needs?
You can’t get to the top if any of these are unmet
Physiology: breathing, food, water, shelter, warmth, rest, homeostasis
Safety: security of body, health, employment, resources, property, family, social
Love & Belonging: friendship, intimacy, family, deeper connection
Self-Esteem: prestige, respect of/by others, strengths, accomplishments
Self-Actualization: ultimate fulfillment of life purposes, realizing your potential
Self-care is also recognizing when the enemy is attacking your mind. Honor your feelings and emotions but don’t believe the lies of the enemy who seeks to kill and destroy. What are you feeling? Use that as a self-warning, as a compass. Don’t buy into the lies of Imposter Syndrome, self-doubt, asking if you’re worthy… Recognize the feeling but ask: “Did God say this?”
Self-care is ALSO recognizing the terrible way you’re speaking to yourself. Your mind is like an unruly puppy and you have to train that puppy! Whenever you catch yourself saying something nasty to yourself/about yourself, I challenge you to say: “That is TERRIBLE _______! You would never say that to anyone else!”
Ok, let’s go over the Seven Principles of Self-Care.
Seven Principles of Self-Care
Invitation to Self-Care
(Keep in mind the difference between beneficial versus indulgent/luxurious: spa day vs. daily)
Self-Care is a daily, lifelong practice. Core/Foundation
“Do I treat my self-care as a core of my well-being?”
Sleep. Tidying. Showered, Bathroom, By yourself. Alone time. Have you breathed today?! Have you eaten? Have you read your Bible? Have you worshiped? Have you grounded yourself? These are usually the first to neglect.
Indulgent self-care, like a spa day, is escapism. If that is your only form of self-care, and you have none of the fundamentals, then escapism will actually not fulfill you. It’s like pouring water into a bucket with holes. It will drain quickly. Instead, focus on keeping your bucket full, daily.
Self-care is a form of self-love that enables you to love others.
Love others as you love yourself. Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-39
This is your oxygen mask. If you’re not loving yourself, then how can you offer love to others?
Ask yourself: “Is this activity loving? Is this fruitful?”
Self-Care is taking personal responsibility.
Ask yourself: “Am I taking responsibility in my day to day life, in the choices I’m making, for my present needs? Or am I escaping, ignoring or denying that I have needs?”
We’re REALLY good at denying we have needs.
Self-Care is Noticing what matters to me.
Ask yourself: “Does this action demonstrate what matters to me now?”
There’s a season for everything and sometimes we need to take a break for a season…
What matters in this season? What do you need to focus on? Where does your energy need to be? Is it your children? Your spouse? Your family?
Journaling Prompt: This is what matters most to me right now:
Self-Care requires attention and responsiveness.
Ask yourself: “Am I tending to my current needs? Am I willing to modify it?”
Recognize that you have changing circumstances and get curious about what you’re truly needing in this moment, in this season.
Self-Care must be realistic to be effective.
Ask yourself: “Does this pass the reality test? Is this sustainable? Am I truly willing and able to do this?”
For example, I need 2 hours of alone time everyday. Reality: I have 5 kids, one of which is nursing and our sleep is different each night. Getting a solid 2 hours isn’t realistic everyday in this season of life!
Ask yourself: “What’s my season? What matters to me? What’s sustainable? What’s actually realistic? What is realistic enough that you can be consistent at it?”
If your “routine” is not realistic, you become a slave to it and it becomes an idol, which in turn will create stress and anxiousness. That completely defeats the entire purpose of filling your cup. Self-care should NOT become a source of stress.
Are you willing to do it? Is your heart, mind and will set up to actually do this? If your will is not behind it, it will not happen.
Self-Care brings you closer to the fulfillment of God’s plan and purpose for your life.
This lays the groundwork for achieving the goals, plans and purposes God has laid before you. Does it align to your life verse/mission statement/purpose?
I end with this:
Keep it simple. Keep it sustainable. Have flexibility for the days that just don’t go to plan. Allow space and margin in your day to just sit and be. To get your bare feet into the soil of the Earth and your face into the sun, just listening to the sounds all around you.
No one else will care for you… you must take care of yourself. The enemy wants us distracted, noisy, busy and looking at everyone else. Don’t let the enemy win. Get quiet and get with God. You were put right here, in this moment, for a reason. You are where you are in your life for a reason. God knows what He’s doing. Trust Him.
Until next time, sisters!
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