Book Review: Indie Birth: A Story of Radical Birth Love

Indie Birth: A Story of Radical Birth Love

By Maryn Green and Margo Blackstone

“Peace on Earth Begins with Birth”

This book was such a gift to read! If you love sitting down with a new friend and learning how she has made it to this point in her life, this book will captivate you! Learning the journey in which both Maryn and Margo took to become the women, the mothers, the wives and the midwives that they are today was like sitting down for coffee and a good history lesson. 

The birth stories shared belonging to Maryn, herself as well as Margo, herself; plus the birth stories of women whom they’ve had the privilege of walking alongside, captivated me and held me in suspense. The sheer power within confidence stood out to me the most. Powerful women taking back their voices and linking arms with other powerful women in encouragement and confidence. 

Throughout every chapter, the heart of Indie Birth’s mission is palpable. I related a lot to Maryn learning her history of coming from a mainstream family and feeling her “differences” to those around her. As I read, a lot of clarity to questions I have asked myself for many years was bestowed upon me. Knowing I wasn’t alone in ways that I had been “feeling” and “knowing” all these years. 

A lot of things really stood out to me as I read through this book; night-after-night and nap-after-nap while nursing my fifth baby, my sweet little bub who just turned one right around the time I anxiously committed to the journey through Indie Birth Doula Academy. I was hooked and couldn’t stop reading most nights. 

Here are some of my biggest takeaways from this book:

“I remember thinking it felt odd; although I did not have the knowledge (of midwifery politics, or types of midwives) to back that feeling up. I do remember this midwife focusing more on what could go wrong, and that scared me. Clearly, I remember her saying something about having a hospital bag packed and gas in the car. No way. I had decided this baby was going to be born at home, not the hospital, and transport was just not going to occur.” -Maryn Green (Page 2)

This particular quote stands out to me so much because I have found myself in a similar situation in varieties of ways in life. As a woman navigating life, friendships, relationships, etc. As a birthing woman carefully curating a birth team that facilitates the most supportive feelings. Even as a birth worker who was previously taught to ignore the “feelings” and work with everyone who wants to hire you. This was serious affirmation to always listen to that small voice. 

“The idea that breech birth could be normal, with a great outcome, was a lesson I learned early on. Of course, it’s a big topic and one I am passionate about (and there’s a lot more to it) but ingrained in my midwife cells was the idea that women can choose, they know what’s best, and babies usually just come out whether we like it or not.” -Maryn Green (Page 6)

THIS, right here, is how I have felt for so very many years before really diving deep into birth, the physiology of birth and really asking the question “WHY does “the system” operate in the way that it does when it pertains to birth?” Even through both of my hospital births early on in my journey of motherhood, I questioned the status quo and wondered why it “had to” be that way and wondered… demanded that there MUST be a better way. Now, twelve years into my motherhood journey and seven years into my birth work journey, I can see that those formative years of questioning have all led me to where I’m at today as a woman, a mother, a wife and a childbearing woman. 

“When people ask me if they should get experience with this kind of midwife, or that kind....I can say, go for it! Seeing what not to do, or what does not resonate, is a bigger teacher than working with someone with whom you agree about everything.” -Maryn Green (Page 7)

“Sometimes we only find our Truth out of feeling silenced, or after realizing that it was our own desire to “fit in.”” -Maryn Green (Page 8)

I pulled these two quotes because I just adore them. I resonate so well to these two quotes simply because I’ve lived this. Having more examples of what NOT to be in life as a woman, mother, wife and birth worker; than examples of what I want to be. I’ve learned to listen to the small voice within that says: “no, this is not the only way.” I’ve also lived a life of being the “outsider” both in general and within my own family. I’ve always been misunderstood, always been the one everyone ignores and the “invisible” one at get-togethers. The older I get, the more I embrace this. I’m finding my truth, I’m finding my voice and I believe this is precisely why I was drawn to Indie Birth because I want… I NEEDED something that dipped way below the surface in my journey to becoming a powerful birth worker for my community. 

“We have somehow lost sight of the fact that we learned the bulk of what we know as midwives without a program for most of human history. Sure we have picked up some tricks and gadgets, and need to know about things like lab work now, but for the most part, midwifery is about (or should be) 80% the same as it has always been. We seem to think that a systematized, institutionalized, “approved” program is going to make smarter midwives, when it appears to actually be doing the opposite. We criticize doctors for their training being limited, and their protocols being restrictive, yet we are now trying to train midwives in much the same way. Learn the “right” answers, and then go get some quick and superfi- cial hands-on practice, rather than embedding the heart-centered practice alongside the memorization and book learning.” -Margo Blackstone (Page 23&24)

“It is someone to love them, listen to them, support them, and care about them as a human being. There is no program that can teach these skills.” -Margo Blackstone (page 24)

“Birth stories also don’t stand alone in time and space. Each pregnancy and birth (I see even more clearly now) was woven from the fabric of my life at the time. The birth simply reflected who I was, where I was, and what I thought about life and birth.” -Maryn Green (page 31)

“As human beings, we are inherently free. Birth is a natural, normal, human process. It is not a disease and rarely is a medical event. We should be as free to birth as we are to go eat whatever food we choose.” -Maryn Green (Page 58)

“Autonomy is “freedom from external control or influence”; first, one must figure out if one wants this in one’s births and to what degree.” -Maryn Green (Page 61)

“Women just have come to expect it; they go somewhere, someone does stuff to them, they really have no idea what or why, and they leave feeling either great that someone else said “everything’s great!” or they leave upset by the findings of the other person. That sounds harsh but sit with it for a moment.” -Maryn Green (Page 63)

“Many women relinquish so much responsibility in pregnancy because they are disconnected and assume that everyone else knows more about them. A lot of these women won’t birth without a lot of intervention and interference because frankly they just don’t believe they can do it. The whole pregnancy has shown them how much they need the doctor, or need the midwife, or need the ultrasound, and when it comes time to own it, they just cannot.” -Maryn agree. (Page 64)

This got a “YES!” from me as I read it. We have been so trained by our mainstream society to look outside of ourselves for validation, acceptance and the “ok” with our bodies, our babies and our lives. It’s time we take back our power, consult with God and look within! 

“If we want radical change, we have to allow ourselves radical thought!” -Margo Blackstone (Page 76)

“But doing nothing requires holding steadfast to the dream of a world in which physiologically unhindered birth is the norm, not birth that needs to be highly monitored and assisted by midwives. Doing nothing requires creativity, patience, and complex observational skills.” -Margo Blackstone (page 77)

This quote really affirmed for me what I’ve been feeling for so many years and that is this:
“A good birth attendant knows when to sit on her hands.”

“If you want to help women learn what birth can really look like, and how to have an undisturbed birth, you’re going to offend some people, but you might be surprised at how many more people will come out of the woodwork for the big ideas and actions you create.” -Margo Blackstone (page 78)

“We are so powerful that if we were reconnected with our bodies and souls on a large scale, the world as we know it would shift drastically and quickly.” -Maryn Green (page 79)

“Everything in birth, everything in life, is an internal job.” -Maryn Green (page 90)

“But I think that giving away your own power is perhaps the most degrading way a human can spend their life.” -Maryn Green (page 90)

It took me a really LONG time to take back my own power… but I am so very glad that I listened when I questioned the status quo. I am so very glad when I thought: “This cannot be the only way.” Listening to that questioning and searching for a better way has led me here, where I am today. Taking back my God-given power as a woman has been the greatest journey of my life thus far. 

“No one can force you to accept inhumane treatment or to remain a victim of the system if you don’t want to. That really goes against popular belief because so many people want to talk about the abuse of the system. While I know the abuse of the system is real, women are subjecting themselves to it” -Maryn Green (page 113)

“Respect the process. Respect the baby and both the mama and the baby’s knowing of how birth needs to go. They are so rarely wrong. There is a problem in our culture around respect. It’s pretty clear that women and babies and the process of birth are not being respected; by doctors and midwives alike. Just by thinking one knows more or better communicates a lack of respect.” -Maryn Green (page 148)

“When women recognize that birth is made to work when no one is there, everything changes. They go inside themselves for answers, and stop asking the “control” questions.” -Maryn Green (page 155)

This book is about overcoming, triumph, power, empowerment. I was captivated as I read this book. Each night after my older four kiddos were tucked into bed and I laid down to nurse my one year old in bed, I looked forward to escaping into the world of Maryn and Margo’s adventures and their journey to who they are today. In my opinion, we need a continuum book! It feels incomplete! I also have unanswered questions; as a mom of five who feels that baby number six, if God has it in the plans, will be the last baby, I’d love to pick the brain of Maryn who went on to have four more babies after mentioning that baby number six was likely her last birth story.

Anyways. Grab your favorite chair, a cozy blanket, a hot cup of tea and dive in! Laugh, cry, rejoice and celebrate as Maryn and Margo retell birth stories, retell loss stories and confidently give you courage to seek your truth!