Self-Care: The Lost Art

"Self-care is not about self-indulgence, it's about self-preservation." -- Audrey Lorde
Self-care has been such a hot topic lately, at least in my world. It's a hot topic among birth workers, therapists, group setting therapy, mom groups, and all the like. "Do you practice self-care?" "What do you do for self-care?" "Do you understand why self-care is so important?" But yet, the resounding answer is always a bunch of people in a group setting looking at each other with confused or "uhhhh no" looks on their faces. Or you, looking at your computer or phone screen scrunching up your nose at just the mere mention of "self-care."
This kind of saddens me deep down because self-care is so wonderful and so important for everyone. Even if self-care isn't feasible to perform everyday, it's something that should be done at least once a week. Too often we find ourselves taking care of everyone else, attending to crying children, kissing bumps and bruises, asking children what they've learned from that, getting kids to and from the school drop off or on and off the bus, nap time, mealtime, sports, homework, teething,... Do I really need to go on?
Let's face it, we all live very busy lives and we forget that our care, our mental and emotional state, they matter too. We cannot give and give ourselves to everyone around us when we're starving for rejuvenation.
Self-care is not a luxury and it's not selfish. It's simply being kind to yourself and that is a necessity.

So what are some things you can do for self-care? The answer is never-ending. Self-care has no right or wrong answer. Your remedy for self-care can be as simple or as complex as you prefer. Something that energizes you, relaxes you, calms your mind, body and spirit. Something that brings you peace and tranquility, an action that brings you a sense of joy, peace, understanding and worth. Something BIG or something small. Self-care has no limitations, it's just important.

So what are some things that you could do for self-care?

Take a bath: With or without Epsom Salts, bubble bath, bath bombs, or whatever you fancy! Envision the stress melting off while you close your eyes and allow the warm water to cocoon you. Pairing this with soothing music provides a very tranquil atmosphere.

Read a book: This is pretty self-explanatory! Just pick up a good book and get lost! You can travel anywhere when you read a book!

Write a blog or privately journal: Sometimes just getting whatever is on your mind on a piece of paper or on a blog, the act alone can be liberating!

Listen to soothing music: Whatever you may fancy! Listen to something that takes you away with the lyrics or acoustics.

Guided Meditation: Visit YouTube for some free guided meditation sessions or visit a shop that practices meditation.

Take a shower: Let the warm run down your spine and over your shoulders. Envision the stress and exhaustion washing away down the drain.

Chit-chat with a friend: Sometimes all you need is some time to chit-chat with a friend whether it's on the phone or scheduling some time to meet for coffee and lunch!

Cuddle with your kids, pets, partner: Scientific studies have shown that positive touch can reduce stress and combat depression! Positive touch releases oxytocin; the feel good hormone!

Take a nap: Ever heard the term, "sleep on it?" It's true! Sometimes all we need is a bit of sleep to help clear our minds, heart and soul.

Scratch something off that to-do list: Having unfinished tasks can really wind up our minds and send it soaring into "I have so much to do and so little time! ahhhh!" But if we just focus on scratching off one or two items, we're already on the track to feeling much more peaceful!

Say NO to something: It's OK to say no. It's OK to realize it's time to move on from something. It's OK to realize that you already have too many irons in your fire and you need to eliminate a few. Saying NO to something is actually saying YES to yourself!

Have a dance party: Sometimes you just need to get silly and dance away the stress and frustrations from the day! Have you kids join in, the laughter will help everyone's mood improve!

Enjoy your coffee or tea in silence: Find a few moments where you can sit in silence and enjoy a cup of tea or coffee. Self-care doesn't have to be extravagant, sometimes all it takes is five minutes to collect yourself.

Declutter your social media feeds: Unfollow or Unfriend negative people, groups and pages. Keep your newsfeed positive and uplifting!

Practice Mindfulness: Be aware of what your body needs and listen to it. If your body needs more sleep, give it more sleep. If your body is telling your to slow down and unwind, then slow down and unwind.

Stretch: The simple act of stretching can relieve tension and give your body a quick break to refocus.

Use essential oils: Essential Oils are great tools to help with stress, depression, relaxation, sleep and a whole host of other things! Sometimes all you need is a whiff of your favorite scent to really lift your spirits!

Write a list of what you're thankful for: Focusing on the good in your life instead of the bad can be a huge game-changer. You'll start to retrain your mind, body and spirit to see the positive side of situations instead of always finding the negative.

Have a lazy day and catch up on those TV shows!: Seriously though, sometimes all we need is a day to give ourselves permission to not be productive and just BE! In today's world the quality of our day is always measured by how productive we are, but there are so many ways to have a quality day. If that means you did nothing but lay on the couch, snuggle something and catch up on your TV shows, then by all means, do it!

Wake up early for quiet time: Sometimes all we need is an hour to get up before the kids, enjoy some tea or coffee and bask in the darkness and silence! It may be just what you need to start your day off calm and collected!

Unplug for a day: Spend the day reading, sleeping, taking a bath/shower, out to lunch with yourself, a friend or your partner. But keep the phone and other electronics switched off.

Sit outside being mindful of your surroundings: Getting intouch with nature can be liberating, peaceful and really center your mind, body and soul.

Go for a walk: Sometimes all we need is a change of scenery and some physical activity to really change our entire mindset.

Date yourself: Treat yourself to a coffee date, breakfast date, lunch date, icecream date; or all of the above! Enjoy the alone time and let time stand still awhile.

Get a massage: Massages are wonderful! They can help you de-stress, get a little bit of rest, help achy muscles, relieve tension. They make you feel rejuvenated and ready to take on the world!

Use a float tank: Sensory Deprivation Tanks are becoming increasingly popular. They all you to truly unwind, unplug and disconnect from reality for awhile.

Join a fitness class: Exercise is a wonderful way to combat stress, anxiety and depression plus it helps your physical body get more toned and in-shape.
Do something creative: Sitting in the quiet or with soothing music on while you allow your mind to escape into a creative project can be so rejuvenating and you'll have some fun while at it and maybe even have something you're proud of to display!
Declutter your home so you're surrounded by what sparks JOY: Look up the KonMari Method for decluttering your home and experience the life changing effects of living in a space surround by what sparks you unconditional joy!
Speak love into yourself: Create an affirmation board that you'll see multiple times a day that will speak love into yourself.
But, above all else give yourself the grace to practice self-care completely guilt-free. I know it's hard... you're busy, you have a lot of people that rely on you, you have deadlines, you have dinner to cook, appointments to be at, phone calls to make. But you need self-care and you need to give yourself the grace to practice it on a regular basis without a single lick of guilt.
So what are some things you're going to start incorporating for self-care?