Be Wild and Free

This afternoon I was driving to pick up the two older kids from school after picking up the youngest from daycare. I had doula client prenatals to attend this morning and decided to use the rest of the day to catch up on some blog writing, enjoy tea and lunch without any distractions and surround myself with beautiful music and my favorite essential oils in the diffuser. It was an ordinary day... I heartily enjoyed my quiet time with zero distractions other than the dog. But it was one of those days where a wave of grief washes over you at an incredibly unexpected time. I was driving; and I was about three-quarters of the way to the school when I started thinking about what I would be making for dinner tonight... Being that it was already half past five and I typically have dinner on the table around six, I figured it was a good night to just grab a frozen meal and warm it up. For those who know me, they know I tend to talk to myself when I'm deep in thought. So, there I was, talk...

Five Things I Need on a Daily Basis to Be a Great Doula: 1. Soothing, beautiful music to keep me centered, peaceful and mindful 2. A relaxing shower or bath to wash away the day's stress 3. Loving hugs, kisses, cuddles and laughter from my incredible children 4. Kisses and greetings from my beloved horse 5. Encouraging and uplifting words from my sweet spouse Five Birth Books I Recommend to Others: 1. The Birth Partner 2. The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth 3. Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation 4. Mindful Birthing: Training the Mind, Body and Heart for Childbirth and Beyond 5. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth Five Adjectives that Describe Me as a Doula: 1. Compassionate 2. Grounded 3. Patient 4. Calming 5. Empowering Five Favorite Foods to Eat Before a Birth: 1. Fruits 2. Vegetables 3. Soup with Crackers and Tension Tamer Tea 4. Eggs and Toast 5. Peanuts, Sunflower Seeds and Dried Fruit Five Birth Affirmations I Want to Share: ...

I have fought and argued with this for damn near a year. A year. God put it on my heart to share the speech I wrote and read aloud for Ben's funeral on October 25, 2015. I was a new widow of 10 days... 10 whole days I had lived without my beloved husband.  Countless times people asked me if I could truly find the strength to speak at his funeral but the only thing going through my mind was, how could I *not* speak at his funeral? Don't I owe him that much dignity and respect as his wife to share a small portion of what our life and our love was like? He provided our family with so much love, patience, respect; he was the heart of our family.  It was my duty as his wife to find the strength to get up in front of everyone that day and sing my praises of the wonderful man I was so damned lucky to call my husband.  I don't know why God has put this on my heart to share and perhaps I'll never know... But, I have decided it is time to stop fighting that voice and share it....