Getting Fit while Breastfeeding: Holding Back Tears
I'm not sure if I've ever been more frustrated with my body... I've been battling ankle issues for what seems like my entire life. Probably realistically just since high school when I was heavy into sports. For Volleyball, I always had to get my arches and ankles wrapped before practice and games. I've always been "made fun of" for "tripping" over lines painted on the concrete. I am known for randomly rolling my ankles even while just standing still.
But, fast forwarding to the present time... When I was pregnant with Bailey, I didn't seem to have much of an issue with either of my ankles. I rolled my left ankle once or twice during my pregnancy with her, but other than that, I faired well.
Well, after having Bailey in August 2013, I've been having issue after issue. My right ankle was super sore every single day from the moment I woke up to the moment I finally laid down in bed. Walking was awful, going up and down the stairs was a task I was always praying I would accomplish. I've never been so afraid of dropping my child as I was during that time.
About two months ago, I was fed up. I started wrapping my ankle for Zumba and wearing an Amber Necklace around my ankle. It took a couple weeks, but I was finally pain free! I was so ecstatic! I would walk, jump, run, whatever I wanted without pain! But, my Amber Necklace broke a few weeks ago and after only three days, my right ankle started hurting again.
So, fast forward again... Thursday I did Zumba. After several intermittent classes due to our Tennessee trip, getting a flat tire and only making half of class and It Works! Meetings, I was feeling it pretty hardcore last Thursday.
Zumba kicked my ass. I vowed to never take nearly 2 weeks off again. I made it through class, was down even more pounds! (Thank you Fat Fighters, Wraps & ThermoFit!) and I was feeling pretty good!
Friday afternoon I was in the office working and needed some more water. So I stood up. That's when I felt a "snap" and immediately fell back into my chair. For 15 minutes thereafter, I could not stand. Once my foot even graced the ground, I had a shooting pain from my ankle to half way up my calf. I held back tears so the kids didn't catch wind of my dismay; but it hurt, bad.
After the 15 minutes, I was able to slowly bare weight and sluggishly limp to the kitchen.
Since then, limping has been my new best friend. Sitting on my butt to heave Bailey and I down the stairs or leaning up against the wall to maneuver the stairs has become my life.
Tonight at Zumba. I fought back tears. I'm so frustrated. All I want to do is workout so I can feel better, look better and lose this freaking belly that I'm so sick of. But my ankles refuse to allow that. Now that I've been compensating for my left ankle, my right ankle is beginning to give me fits again. I just don't understand it. I'm afraid to get it looked at for the sole purpose that I really cannot afford to have the surgery. Not money-wise, time wise. I do not have the down time, at all. Not with 2 kids, not with a husband, not with a business to run, not with a magazine to work, not with an equestrian team to coach (if we have a senior team this year) not with 2 horses... One of which is being worked, not with 2 cows... I DONT HAVE TIME!
So any suggestions are welcome. I'm so frustrated I just want to cry. I hate my body right now. More specifically my ankles. My body has bore 3 beautiful children and hopefully many more to come... But my ankles can go to hell.
On another note... Even with a bum ankle, I tried to work my ass off during Zumba and worked up a really good sweat! I felt pretty good and tonight I decided to go ahead and start the HIIT (high intensity interval training) Program on Tuesday nights. Despite my bum ankle, I was able to do almost everything and oh... my... goodness. Talk about INTENSE! That was the hardest 20 minutes of my life right there.
Update:
I'm in pain this morning! Lots of it. Not in my ankles, surprisingly! But my entire body hurts so bad from last night. My arms are still like jello, my legs are begging for mercy and my abs and back, ouch. Zumba then HIIT is no joke... I look forward to keeping up with this and seeing even more toning! Along with my Wraps, Defining Gel, Fat Fighters, ThermoFit and My Fitness Pal, I should be looking good in no time!
If you're just finding this, here's a list of blog posts throughout my journey
Until next time, friends
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